Life in the City

-by Sandra Simmons

Remember, women: Men come and go, but girlfriends last forever. – “Samantha Jones” in Sex and the City

A recent survey from the University of Chicago found that typical urban-dwellers spend much of their adult lives unmarried -- either dating or single. In fact, between the ages of 18 and 59, those surveyed cohabitated with a significant other an average of nearly four years, and were married about 18 years. The rest of the time, an average of about 19 years, they were dating or alone, with no steady companion.

Though many of our residents are indeed married or cohabitating, single women comprise a considerable segment of our population.

Women who are single due to divorce, death of a spouse, children leaving the nest, or choosing to remain unbound, are all seeking female friends for a source of companionship, security, and free therapy.

We’ve found them.

The critically acclaimed television series Sex and the City gave us a glimpse into the lives of four wonderful girlfriends, strong women who used each other as sounding boards to share their joy and pain, strengths and weaknesses, their triumphs and blunders. They chatted about their life in the city, the city they loved.

As women, we related to their stories and lived vicariously through them. Men weren’t left out, for they were given a truly remarkable glimpse into the mysterious world of girlfriends in a language they can understand – sex.

Do you know a Miranda, an intelligent over-achiever, driven to succeed, who doesn’t show her vulnerability often? Or a Charlotte, a perfectionist, almost “Stepford” in her views on womanhood, innocently looking for the good in every situation and every person? Or Samantha, a woman who knows what she wants and won’t stop at anything to obtain her desire by using her feminine powers? Or the ever questioning, always pondering and searching for love and life’s answers, Carrie?

In true Carrie style, I couldn’t help but wonder...Are true girlfriends forever because they feel like home?

Sandy Newton (Treo) loves the inherent connection, understanding and empathy she feels with her women friends. She knows they can think out loud together, which helps her understand herself better.

Yana Shayne (Archstone) cherishes her girlfriends’ understanding. She believes true girlfriends are the ones who really care about ups and downs and take time to be there for you, despite distance or time.

Barb Darby’s (Treo) girlfriends are her “balcony people,” always there on the sidelines, excitedly cheering on her triumphs and supporting her in times of trial. They’re her positive influence. She feels at ease with her girlfriends; they can relax and be casual together, not always needing to be “switched on.”

In the series finale, Carrie asks to return home from Paris, home to her girlfriends and the city she loved. I can relate too, as I once left my home – Downtown – for a foreign world (Minneapolis). There is no place like home, and there’s no home without “Girls in the City.” - July 2004

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